[Re-Blogged] "Rape Responsibility," and the Fine Line Between Victim Blaming and Common Sense

The other day I checked in at VerySmartBrothas.com to find Damon Young's response to a recent Ebony.com piece, "Stop Telling Women How Not to Get Raped." I thought it would be an interesting companion piece to Alexandra Joye Warren's blog this week "Causing to Stumble" in which she asks the question, are we truly innocent creatures or are we ignorant of how much we provoke?

Young basically asks the same question. He writes:

Why can’t both genders be educated on how to act responsibility around each other? What’s stopping us from steadfastly instilling “No always means no!” in the minds of all men and boys and educating women how not to put themselves in certain situations? Of course men shouldn’t attempt to have sex with a woman who’s too drunk to say no, but what’s wrong with reminding women that if you’re 5’1 and 110 pounds, it’s probably not the best idea to take eight shots of Patron while on the first, second, or thirteenth date? Yes, sober women definitely get raped too, but being sober and aware does decrease the likelihood that harm may come your way, and that’s true for each gender.

Both Warren and Young acknowledge the slippery slope of victim blaming that they are on, but also admonish the idea that women are absolutely free from responsibility when attacked by men. Young states, "I think it’s even more dangerous to neglect to remind young women that, while it’s never their fault if they happen to get sexually assaulted, they shouldn’t thumb their noses to common sense either."

I get what they are both trying to get at, but asking women to accept accountability for their own assaults - when they could have done everything in the world "right" and still end up wronged - is the slipperiest slope to be on. Especially when women might do everything "wrong" (dress provocatively, drink too much etc.) and everything still usually turns out alright. The truth is, we really don't have any honest measure of what set of circumstances may lead to a woman being harassed, assaulted, or attacked by a man. We can only try to decrease those chances the best way we know how, and be prepared to defend ourselves or help others should those unfortunate events occur.

After a huge blow up response to Young's article, he apologetically refrained from recanting his sentiments. 

Read the full blog HERE.

Thoughts?